Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Monday, February 24, 2014
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Life Lately...
Our lives lately have been drastically altered from what once was...to something beyond whatever I could have ever imagined. And I wouldn't trade a single second of it for anything! I love being a mommy...more than I ever thought possible. I have been spending a lot of time reflecting on just how many things have changed and what all Seiden has been through since I've been back at work. With commuting 45 minutes one way to work, I have a total of an hour and a half to pray, think, reflect, and be alone. The being alone part is kinda weird. For so long, I didn't do much of anything without Seiden with me. And even if she wasn't with me, I was with Cody, my mom, or our friends. So, I truly haven't spent much time alone until I started back to work and had my daily commute.
The quiet time is nice. I mostly think about Seiden...shocker! But, I also think about other things. Like...all the things that I need to do after I pick Seiden up from day care and get home. And...trying to remember all the things that I need to tell Cody. Whether that be stuff that happened during my day at work, information from the doctor's that I talked to about Seiden's upcoming appointments, the insurance company from trying to get all our bills squared away (that was a nightmare by the way!), upcoming plans that we've made with family and friends, events that are coming up, etc. One of the biggest things that I've thought about and reflected on is all that Seiden has been through. There's a song that come on the Sirius channel, The Message, by Matt Redman called "Your Grace Finds Me." The first words are, "It's there in the newborn cry." It comes on nearly every time I'm in my car and has literally stopped me in my tracks and just had me reflect and look back on Seiden's journey since she was born on October 19th. I know the reason it pulls on me so much is because I didn't get to hear that sweet newborn cry until she was 10 days old. With her having all those tubes in and because she was incubated, whenever she would cry with all that in, it was just silence. That song has just made me come to tears. Thankful tears. Even though we didn't get to hear our angel until she was 10 days old, we are both just so thankful that we are home with a perfectly healthy, normal, precious, beautiful, baby girl. I think we just take so much for-granted on this earth, it's hard to stop and remember how precious a baby's cry is. Yes, it can be frustrating at times, it's sad sometimes, and sometimes it's funny...especially when you know they're faking it like Seiden does...diva! However, that song has made me take a step back and realize what's truly important in my life. And also to be ever so thankful that Seiden cries and to embrace it when she does. God has just healed her and continues to do so each and every day. She just continues to amaze me. And...when she looks deep into my eyes and smiles with her whole being...my world just melts into the biggest puddle of love I could have ever imagined. That's why I wanted to write this post. Because as crazy as our life lately has been...I've realized the true importance of existence since she's been born. It's not all the "stuff" that goes on, it's the precious, precious time that I will never get back to just love and appreciate the people in my life and to truly embrace the roles that God has given me and glorify and honor Him to the best of my ability in those roles.
Here's my life lately...
Since being back at work (this is my 6th week), I think I've finally found a routine and balance for when I pick my princess up and getting the various "chores" done around the house. I've found that vacuuming every other day is NOT a priority anymore. Thank goodness Cody and I had our floors re-done this time last year. The dog hair, grass, and West Texas dust doesn't show up on our new floors like it did on our old beige carpet and white tile! Gross!!! Both the old carpet and tile and all the stuff that we could see on top of it...plus it was original to the house...so it was just time for it to go! I do still vacuum at least once during the week. I honestly can't handle it if I don't...neat freak, OCD tendencies haven't left me since I've become a mommy. I've just learned to be a little less crazy about everything. I do, however, always have a neat and tidy picked up house. I really can't handle things being left out on the counter, dishes in the sink, stuff on the floor, etc. Like...it puts me in a bad mood for days! And really...it's so much easier to always have a picked up house. I still do a little spot cleaning on the weekends, though. One thing that has saved me...Cody let me hire someone to come and clean our house every other week. I kinda hated to relinquish control of it. But...I would rather spend the time it takes me to deep clean (about 4-5 hours) with my precious angel, hubby, and puppy loves on the weekends. Before I went back to work, cleaning the house wasn't a big deal at all because I was home all day everyday. So, I did it every other week in between when Seiden would eat and I needed to pump. I could still manage to get it all done (the deep cleaning and all the laundry) in a little more than half a day. But now, I want to spend those 4-5 hours with my sweet family on the weekends. Cause I'm sure as heck not gonna clean on a weeknight!
Back to trying to find a new routine and balance it all... The first week, I hardly spent any time at all with Seiden. Cody and I started off me getting her completely ready in the mornings and him feeding her. Then, I would pick her up and just hold her while I tried to make my lunch and get my school bag ready for the next day. By Thursday, we realized she wasn't really eating very good and was kinda in a funk. She had great days at day care...but was really sleepy and fighting her bottles with all of us...the ladies at day care included. So, on Friday, we decided to get her up at about 6:15 instead of 6:30 so that I could feed her her morning bottle before we left for work and my mom took her to day care. And...I also made the decision to just stop and take a breath and give her my complete love and attention after I got home from picking her up. I'm sure that she felt like she was just being put on the back burner with me. I wasn't truly giving her my full attention in the afternoons. Even though I was holding her, I was trying to do other things so that my to-do list was done. You see...I'm so OCD and organized that I had lost sight of what was most important for those few days. Before Seiden, that's what I would do when I got home. Here was my list: feed the dogs, make my lunch, get my coffee pot ready, mix my protein shake for my morning workout, lay out my workout clothes on the floor of my closet, do any random chores (unload the dishwasher, start laundry, vacuum, etc.), take a bath or shower (I can't stand going to bed with the day all over me), eat dinner, then spend time with Cody and the dogs before I went to bed. On the nights I would be cooking dinner, I would get it started before my bath or shower, then finish making dinner after that was done. The problem that I was having...is that all that stuff still has to be done even though Seiden is here now.
Obviously, she is my number one priority. But, I was having trouble trying to be super mom, super wife, super house cleaner, super cooker, super employee, basically super woman...you get the idea! And...on top of that...I still had to find time to spend time with family and friends. WHAT?!?!? I was beginning to think there should be like 36 hours in the day at this point. However, I have finally taken that step back and just opened my eyes to the bigger picture. And that is putting Seiden above all the other piddly little stuff. Now, once I pick Seiden up, she helps me feed the dogs and get my purse, school bag, and pump from my car and then we just sit down in the recliner/rocking chair and just sit and rock and watch TV until daddy gets home. Every 3 days I bathe her, so on bath days, we do that first and then sit and rock until daddy gets home. It's worked out much better and she is doing even better than she was during that first week. After Cody gets home, he takes her and she has some daddy snuggle time. That's when I start doing the few little things that I do still HAVE to do before work the next day. I make my lunch, take a shower or bath, and get dinner started. Thankfully, most of our dinners are pulled from the massive quantities of freezer meals I prepared over the summer. I'm going to be sad when those are all gone! But...I have been pinning crock pot recipes like a mad woman. Anyways, dinner is a snap putting together. Most of the time, the main course is already ready from being in the crock pot all day and all I have to do is prepare the sides. We've also pushed back the time that I used to always have dinner ready from 6:00 to 6:30. Those 30 extra minutes are HUGE for both of us! Cody feeds Seiden her 6:00 bottle while I'm bustling about in the kitchen and taking my shower/bath. And, while Cody and Seiden are snuggling, we are talking about our day together. It's been a great transition for us and what we've come up with works like a charm for our family. I get to spend a lot of quality time with Seiden in the morning, getting her ready and feeding her. Then, I also get to spend a good 30-40 minutes after we get home together. And, Cody also gets to spend time with her and snuggle her too. After I feed her in the mornings, he usually takes her and burps her and plays with her before we walk her across the street to my parent's house. And, then he also gets to spend time with her in the evenings while I'm getting dinner ready and getting things ready for the next day for us two girls. The best part...is that after we are done with dinner, we have the rest of the night to spend time as a little family of 3 without still having mounds of chores or other piddly little things to do. Teamwork at it's finest!!! That's the best part of the day for both of us...being home and all together and relaxing and playing with our princess after a day of work. It really can't get any better than that! It did take some time...but we've got it figured out now!
I have to say that it's been a whirlwind since I started back to work. I'm up at 4:00 am so that I can pump and then go to the gym. I'm pulling into the parking lot at about 4:50 and am home by about 5:30. I feed the dogs, love on them for a second, then get myself ready. By the time I'm done getting ready, it's time to put Seiden's bottle in the warmer so that I can then go and get her all ready and fed. In the mean time, Cody is getting up, eating breakfast, and playing with the dogs. Mornings are busy...but we love them and getting to spend a few short minutes together as a family before the day starts is nice! I get home at about 4:30 and head straight in to pick Seiden up. Cody gets home at about 5:30 and by the time we are all squared away after dinner it's usually about 7:00 or 7:30. Then, I pump at 8:00 and go to bed as soon as I'm done cleaning up and telling everyone goodnight. Cody feeds Seiden her 9:30 bottle, puts her to bed, and then he comes to bed. And then...it's time for a whole new day! Time was already flying, but now it just goes even faster. When the weekends roll around, I really don't want to do anything but sit at home and play with her and snuggle with her since I don't see her as much as I used to. That's probably been one of the hardest things to adjust to. I do run some errands here and there. But, I've been such a hermit when it comes to going out and spending time with our friends and their sweet babies. I know that part of this new transition will work itself out...just like everything else has. It's just a lot different than it used to be. But...I'm learning to be ok with that and just continue to get settled in with all these new things! I'm loving our new life as a family of three. Everyone always tells you you never could imagine your life with kids until you have them and then you don't ever know what you did before them. And...it is SO TRUE! Cody and I were just talking the other day about how we don't know what we ever did before we had her. Even though our new life seems a lot busier than it used to...we are completely consumed with this little girl. She has completely captivated our hearts and we never knew how much unconditional love we could have for something. She is just so precious in every way...simply perfect. God just continues to bless and heal her and we are just in awe of Him...and of Seiden! So...in a nutshell...that's our life as of late! We have made her be our number one priority while also keeping her adapted into our lives and our routines. She revolves around our lives just as much as we revolve around her life...and it's been wonderful for us! We are completely in love with this precious angel and miracle from God. And we are ever so thankful that He chose us to be her parents! Life lately really couldn't be any better!!!
The quiet time is nice. I mostly think about Seiden...shocker! But, I also think about other things. Like...all the things that I need to do after I pick Seiden up from day care and get home. And...trying to remember all the things that I need to tell Cody. Whether that be stuff that happened during my day at work, information from the doctor's that I talked to about Seiden's upcoming appointments, the insurance company from trying to get all our bills squared away (that was a nightmare by the way!), upcoming plans that we've made with family and friends, events that are coming up, etc. One of the biggest things that I've thought about and reflected on is all that Seiden has been through. There's a song that come on the Sirius channel, The Message, by Matt Redman called "Your Grace Finds Me." The first words are, "It's there in the newborn cry." It comes on nearly every time I'm in my car and has literally stopped me in my tracks and just had me reflect and look back on Seiden's journey since she was born on October 19th. I know the reason it pulls on me so much is because I didn't get to hear that sweet newborn cry until she was 10 days old. With her having all those tubes in and because she was incubated, whenever she would cry with all that in, it was just silence. That song has just made me come to tears. Thankful tears. Even though we didn't get to hear our angel until she was 10 days old, we are both just so thankful that we are home with a perfectly healthy, normal, precious, beautiful, baby girl. I think we just take so much for-granted on this earth, it's hard to stop and remember how precious a baby's cry is. Yes, it can be frustrating at times, it's sad sometimes, and sometimes it's funny...especially when you know they're faking it like Seiden does...diva! However, that song has made me take a step back and realize what's truly important in my life. And also to be ever so thankful that Seiden cries and to embrace it when she does. God has just healed her and continues to do so each and every day. She just continues to amaze me. And...when she looks deep into my eyes and smiles with her whole being...my world just melts into the biggest puddle of love I could have ever imagined. That's why I wanted to write this post. Because as crazy as our life lately has been...I've realized the true importance of existence since she's been born. It's not all the "stuff" that goes on, it's the precious, precious time that I will never get back to just love and appreciate the people in my life and to truly embrace the roles that God has given me and glorify and honor Him to the best of my ability in those roles.
Here's my life lately...
Since being back at work (this is my 6th week), I think I've finally found a routine and balance for when I pick my princess up and getting the various "chores" done around the house. I've found that vacuuming every other day is NOT a priority anymore. Thank goodness Cody and I had our floors re-done this time last year. The dog hair, grass, and West Texas dust doesn't show up on our new floors like it did on our old beige carpet and white tile! Gross!!! Both the old carpet and tile and all the stuff that we could see on top of it...plus it was original to the house...so it was just time for it to go! I do still vacuum at least once during the week. I honestly can't handle it if I don't...neat freak, OCD tendencies haven't left me since I've become a mommy. I've just learned to be a little less crazy about everything. I do, however, always have a neat and tidy picked up house. I really can't handle things being left out on the counter, dishes in the sink, stuff on the floor, etc. Like...it puts me in a bad mood for days! And really...it's so much easier to always have a picked up house. I still do a little spot cleaning on the weekends, though. One thing that has saved me...Cody let me hire someone to come and clean our house every other week. I kinda hated to relinquish control of it. But...I would rather spend the time it takes me to deep clean (about 4-5 hours) with my precious angel, hubby, and puppy loves on the weekends. Before I went back to work, cleaning the house wasn't a big deal at all because I was home all day everyday. So, I did it every other week in between when Seiden would eat and I needed to pump. I could still manage to get it all done (the deep cleaning and all the laundry) in a little more than half a day. But now, I want to spend those 4-5 hours with my sweet family on the weekends. Cause I'm sure as heck not gonna clean on a weeknight!
Back to trying to find a new routine and balance it all... The first week, I hardly spent any time at all with Seiden. Cody and I started off me getting her completely ready in the mornings and him feeding her. Then, I would pick her up and just hold her while I tried to make my lunch and get my school bag ready for the next day. By Thursday, we realized she wasn't really eating very good and was kinda in a funk. She had great days at day care...but was really sleepy and fighting her bottles with all of us...the ladies at day care included. So, on Friday, we decided to get her up at about 6:15 instead of 6:30 so that I could feed her her morning bottle before we left for work and my mom took her to day care. And...I also made the decision to just stop and take a breath and give her my complete love and attention after I got home from picking her up. I'm sure that she felt like she was just being put on the back burner with me. I wasn't truly giving her my full attention in the afternoons. Even though I was holding her, I was trying to do other things so that my to-do list was done. You see...I'm so OCD and organized that I had lost sight of what was most important for those few days. Before Seiden, that's what I would do when I got home. Here was my list: feed the dogs, make my lunch, get my coffee pot ready, mix my protein shake for my morning workout, lay out my workout clothes on the floor of my closet, do any random chores (unload the dishwasher, start laundry, vacuum, etc.), take a bath or shower (I can't stand going to bed with the day all over me), eat dinner, then spend time with Cody and the dogs before I went to bed. On the nights I would be cooking dinner, I would get it started before my bath or shower, then finish making dinner after that was done. The problem that I was having...is that all that stuff still has to be done even though Seiden is here now.
Obviously, she is my number one priority. But, I was having trouble trying to be super mom, super wife, super house cleaner, super cooker, super employee, basically super woman...you get the idea! And...on top of that...I still had to find time to spend time with family and friends. WHAT?!?!? I was beginning to think there should be like 36 hours in the day at this point. However, I have finally taken that step back and just opened my eyes to the bigger picture. And that is putting Seiden above all the other piddly little stuff. Now, once I pick Seiden up, she helps me feed the dogs and get my purse, school bag, and pump from my car and then we just sit down in the recliner/rocking chair and just sit and rock and watch TV until daddy gets home. Every 3 days I bathe her, so on bath days, we do that first and then sit and rock until daddy gets home. It's worked out much better and she is doing even better than she was during that first week. After Cody gets home, he takes her and she has some daddy snuggle time. That's when I start doing the few little things that I do still HAVE to do before work the next day. I make my lunch, take a shower or bath, and get dinner started. Thankfully, most of our dinners are pulled from the massive quantities of freezer meals I prepared over the summer. I'm going to be sad when those are all gone! But...I have been pinning crock pot recipes like a mad woman. Anyways, dinner is a snap putting together. Most of the time, the main course is already ready from being in the crock pot all day and all I have to do is prepare the sides. We've also pushed back the time that I used to always have dinner ready from 6:00 to 6:30. Those 30 extra minutes are HUGE for both of us! Cody feeds Seiden her 6:00 bottle while I'm bustling about in the kitchen and taking my shower/bath. And, while Cody and Seiden are snuggling, we are talking about our day together. It's been a great transition for us and what we've come up with works like a charm for our family. I get to spend a lot of quality time with Seiden in the morning, getting her ready and feeding her. Then, I also get to spend a good 30-40 minutes after we get home together. And, Cody also gets to spend time with her and snuggle her too. After I feed her in the mornings, he usually takes her and burps her and plays with her before we walk her across the street to my parent's house. And, then he also gets to spend time with her in the evenings while I'm getting dinner ready and getting things ready for the next day for us two girls. The best part...is that after we are done with dinner, we have the rest of the night to spend time as a little family of 3 without still having mounds of chores or other piddly little things to do. Teamwork at it's finest!!! That's the best part of the day for both of us...being home and all together and relaxing and playing with our princess after a day of work. It really can't get any better than that! It did take some time...but we've got it figured out now!
I have to say that it's been a whirlwind since I started back to work. I'm up at 4:00 am so that I can pump and then go to the gym. I'm pulling into the parking lot at about 4:50 and am home by about 5:30. I feed the dogs, love on them for a second, then get myself ready. By the time I'm done getting ready, it's time to put Seiden's bottle in the warmer so that I can then go and get her all ready and fed. In the mean time, Cody is getting up, eating breakfast, and playing with the dogs. Mornings are busy...but we love them and getting to spend a few short minutes together as a family before the day starts is nice! I get home at about 4:30 and head straight in to pick Seiden up. Cody gets home at about 5:30 and by the time we are all squared away after dinner it's usually about 7:00 or 7:30. Then, I pump at 8:00 and go to bed as soon as I'm done cleaning up and telling everyone goodnight. Cody feeds Seiden her 9:30 bottle, puts her to bed, and then he comes to bed. And then...it's time for a whole new day! Time was already flying, but now it just goes even faster. When the weekends roll around, I really don't want to do anything but sit at home and play with her and snuggle with her since I don't see her as much as I used to. That's probably been one of the hardest things to adjust to. I do run some errands here and there. But, I've been such a hermit when it comes to going out and spending time with our friends and their sweet babies. I know that part of this new transition will work itself out...just like everything else has. It's just a lot different than it used to be. But...I'm learning to be ok with that and just continue to get settled in with all these new things! I'm loving our new life as a family of three. Everyone always tells you you never could imagine your life with kids until you have them and then you don't ever know what you did before them. And...it is SO TRUE! Cody and I were just talking the other day about how we don't know what we ever did before we had her. Even though our new life seems a lot busier than it used to...we are completely consumed with this little girl. She has completely captivated our hearts and we never knew how much unconditional love we could have for something. She is just so precious in every way...simply perfect. God just continues to bless and heal her and we are just in awe of Him...and of Seiden! So...in a nutshell...that's our life as of late! We have made her be our number one priority while also keeping her adapted into our lives and our routines. She revolves around our lives just as much as we revolve around her life...and it's been wonderful for us! We are completely in love with this precious angel and miracle from God. And we are ever so thankful that He chose us to be her parents! Life lately really couldn't be any better!!!
Monday, February 17, 2014
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Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Monday, February 3, 2014
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